One size does NOT fit all

For some reason, I have been thinking about this particular topic tonight, so I figured I might as well share with everyone else. Why should I be the only one troubled by this?

I am not as skinny as I was in high school. Thanks to the birth of my adorable kid, I now have hips and a butt. The song lyric “I like big butts and I cannot lie” goes through my head when I think about this. I do NOT like big butts, and am working on making it the incredible shrinking bum. I have been known to look in the mirror, then look at my skinny kid and say “I want my body back!” He just laughs and walks away.

So I joined the ranks of the horizontally challenged, at least in the hip/bum area. There has never been very much in the bust region, and if there was a way to transfer some from the bum to the bust, I would do it. In a heartbeat. Apparently, the Good Lord decided I would have the brains and big butt, while my sister got the big bust. So not fair.

Anyway, my main complaint in this posting is department stores. Places like JcPenney’s, Wal-Mart, Kohl’s, Target, etc., seem to believe that if you have a big butt, you also have a big chest. They further believe that if you have a big chest, you want your shirts to be so low cut so you can show your bust off in order to divert attention from the hips/butt region. Don’t believe me? Go to one of these places and look at the plus size department. Most, if not all, shirts are cut low.

Call me a prude. Call me Pollyanna. Call me whatever you want, but I would NOT be caught dead in a shirt like that. I am just not that well-endowed, so there isn’t enough to even hold up a shirt that stops in the middle of my chest. It would just hang there, drooping so low that you could probably see my belly button!

Who decided that plus-size women want to wear these things? I mean, seriously. You know it is probably some men sitting at headquarters deciding these things.

“You know, Fred, we need to order some shirts for our plus size department.”

“Again? Ok, what should we get this time?”

“Well, you know, I think we should get some shirts that come down to the middle of the chest. I’ve seen your secretary and she looks really good in shirts like that.”

“But George, she is 22 and wears a size 2.”

“It doesn’t matter. If it looks good on her, it will look good on a woman who is a size 20. And did you see that jean skirt Sara was wearing the other day? We should order some of those, too.”

“But George, no plus size woman looks that good in a mini-skirt that stops just below her butt.”

“Sure they do, Fred, what woman doesn’t look good in a mini-skirt?”

I am here to tell you that no plus size woman looks good in a mini-skirt that stops below her butt. Do YOU want to be standing behind her when she bends over? I didn’t think so.

Most of those plus size women are trying to lose weight, so we like simple things. Like whole t-shirts and shorts that stop just above the knees, mainly to avoid the gasps of those behind us when we bend over. Frankly, shirts cut that low and skirts that leave nothing to the imagination would not encourage me to lose weight. They would send me screaming in horror to my bedroom, where I would lock the door and never come out!

So, to all you guys in corporate who are looking at the toothpick-thin secretary while ordering clothes for those beautiful plus-size gals: one size does NOT fit all, nor does it look good on everyone! Order some decent looking clothes for those of us who have too much downstairs and not enough upstairs. I do not think my kid wants to see my belly button.

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

One response to “One size does NOT fit all

  1. Poor you! *Obviously* when you joined our club you missed the memo entitled, "Plus size women like to dress like whores". So sorry.Will get HQ to rectify immediately ;)sam

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s