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Walmart Adventures

Last week, I became acquainted with several gentlemen at my local Walmart Auto Shop. Monday, it was an oil change for James’ car. Tuesday, it was to order tires for my “new” Jeep Cherokee. I was run into a ditch about thirty minutes after we had the oil change on Monday. Yes, I’m all right. Just some bumps, bruises and sore muscles. Saturday, I went in because the steering wheel on my van had a bad vibration in it. I walked in and Bruce said, “You must really like it here!”

They were going to balance and rotate the tires, so I decided to do my shopping. When I had arrived at Walmart, the skies were dark and the wind had picked up. By the time I went to the front of the store to grab a basket, it had started pouring rain.

As the rain crashed down on the tin roof, I wandered over to the garden department. There were two ladies standing near the register. “Excuse me,” I said to them, “I realize that this is probably a moot point, considering it’s raining. But I need a watering can for my flowers.”

They both cracked up. One of the ladies led me to the aisle I needed. “You’re so funny,” she told me between giggles. “That was a good one. You totally made my day.”

I said, “I have a better one. When my son was younger, I used to send him to the mailbox to check the mail on the holidays. I’d wait until he was almost to the box, then I’d say, ‘Oh wait, it’s a holiday. There’s no mail today, James.’ ‘That’s not funny, Mom!’ The lady cracked up at that one, too. I mentioned it to James the other night, and his response was about the same as it was back then. He still doesn’t think it’s funny.

Spreading joy wherever I go, what can I say?

It’s Monday! Make someone laugh today!

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Middle of the night bathroom adventures…

Half-asleep, our heroine stumbles to the bathroom, the only light coming from the distant glow of the living room bulb. She sits down to take care of business when, through half open eyes, she spots a big bug in a darkened corner near the sink. “Oh crap,” she thinks, “there’s a bug in here with me.”

She doesn’t panic. She opens her eyes wider to get a better look at the bug. No shoes in the bathroom, but there is a book. If necessary, she can squish it with Clive Cussler.

She stares more intently at the corner. The bug hasn’t moved. It must be checking her out as well, trying to figure out how to freak her out. There…her eyes are focusing…she can see the bug clearly now…

It’s a…

It’s a…

…empty toilet paper roll that had bounced off the edge of the trash can and hit the floor earlier in the evening.

*sound of flushing toilet*

Our heroine, having survived her encounter with the deadly toilet paper roll bug, stumbles back down the hall and goes back to bed.


Hope you enjoyed this mini-heroine adventure! 🙂 Just thought you all could use a laugh in the middle of your Saturday!